Time Passages


I first met Jeff Duren about a year and a half ago. I won't tell you how many years ago I met his wife, Ginger, I'll just say that it was many years ago and another place and time. But everything comes back around, and I was lucky enough to reconnect with Ginger at what we would probably both say was perfect timing.

When I first met Jeff, he was home from a round of chemotherapy. He was sitting in a cozy chair in his living room, with a baseball hat on and wearing a smile. He joked with me as if I had known him forever. I left my children in the car, for fear they might have a germ I didn't know about, while I delivered a Costco lasagna to the Duren household. I ended up staying forever...laughing, talking. When I finally returned to the car, Caitlyn asked me, "What in the world took so long?" I responded that I had reconnected with an old friend and had met a new one. That was a wonderful day.

I was fortunate enough to see Jeff several more times over the next year and a half, at their house, at our class reunion, and a couple of times as we ran into each other in the thriving metropolis called Winder, Georgia. The last time I saw Jeff outside the hospital was the day he found out he had come out of remission. I was standing in line in Target when someone tapped me on the shoulder. It was Jeff, and I knew from Ginger's updates that he was waiting around for a doctor's appointment later that day...the one that would tell him whether he was still in remission or headed for a bone marrow transplant. I asked him how he was doing and he said factually, "Not real good. The cancer is most likely back." I told him I knew about that and that I meant how was he doing emotionally. He responded that his faith was in the Lord and that he would go where the Lord took him. Then, he hugged me and hugged Harry, who also wanted a high five, which Jeff enthusiastically gave him.

Unfortunately (for us) where the Lord chose to take him was Home last Sunday, May 16 Fortunately (for Jeff) he is dancing and laughing, at peace and pain free. His family is still here, though, and they are in a million pieces, trying to come to terms with what has happened.


A lovely picture of Jeff and Ginger at our high school reunion


I am so thankful to have had the opportunity to reconnect with Ginger and to have known Jeff. Through all this, I was able to see the power of a good friend, a longtime friend. When Julie Lancaster and I sat at Jeff's funeral on Thursday of last week and witnessed our old friends Julie Kellam and Lisa McBryant walking in and taking their places with the family, I was moved beyond belief. I felt privileged to witness the power of a long time friend, and felt even happier to have these people back in my life.

Rest in peace, Jeff Duren. You made my friend happy, you gave her daughter a father, and you were and continue to be an inspiration to many.



The school year is drawing to a close. At the time of this writing, we have two more days. This has been a good year and I won't carry on again about how much I'll miss these teachers. We have had a couple of really full weeks. A few nights ago we were proud to sit in the audience as Caitlyn was inducted into the International Thespian Society. I was proud to stand myself and recite the Thespian pledge with the new inductees. They all looked very nice in their formal attire, and we were also very proud when Caitlyn's name was called as outstanding freshman Thespian. Congratulations Caitlyn on a very successful school year!

Caitlyn and her friend at the Thespian induction

Chance has had a pretty good year himself, even learning to write legibly under the patient guidance of Mrs. Langley, and under my threats to send him to handwriting boot camp with Maisy's kindergarten teacher. He scored well on the CRCT and is leaving third grade better than when he started. We can't ask for much more, can we?

As for Maisy, she has blossomed and become even more fun, if that is possible. She has learned to read and write, has learned math skills I swear we didn't see until third grade, and has learned valuable social skills. And to warm my nerdy little heart and soul, last Friday she brought me the "white envelope" with a big smile on her face. Inside the white envelope was the placement recommendation for the gifted program. She tested a few weeks ago and has really been looking forward to receiving the "white envelope!" Congratulations, Beamy! You may be a geek, but you're a geek with style and fun. I don't know where the world will take you, or perhaps where you'll take the world, but I can't wait to watch.


Maisy at last week's sock hop




While we're on the subject of things coming to a close, I might as well put this out there...a few weeks ago I made sure that Harry was the final entry into the Charles and Rebecca Martin household. Everything went well. Our ark is full, as Charley would say, and we're enjoying the new opportunities for adult life that leaving the baby years behind has offered us. I tossed all the baby equipment and only kept a Rubbermaid box full of my favorite keepsakes and clothes. The end of another era. As I work on reclaiming my adult life, working toward the body I once had before four pregnancies, I have started examining my options for the future. Harry has at least two more years before I even consider releasing him to the Jackson County school system and for now, I am content to take freelance writing and editing projects as they present themselves. However, inside and patiently waiting to escape is my academic side. She has been quiet for a while now, but is starting to make herself heard once again. So, I have ordered some information on some academic programs to see how I might want to proceed. It is a very good possibility that when Harry walks through the door of the kindergarten for the first time, I'll be walking once again under that sacred Arch. I'm never going to be completely happy until I am not just a writer, but a science writer. Don't get me wrong...I LOVE editing, but my first and true love is writing, followed closely by a love of science that was unfortunately squelched back in my junior year of high school by a teacher named Ernie Blankenship, who tried his best to convince me I wasn't any good in science. But the love has never left, and I have news for you, Ernie Blankenship..."You were wrong, Ernie, and some day soon I'll be seeing you from the by-line of a scientific journal article." I just have to decide...insects or igneous rocks??? Mantids or magma???

So, endings and beginnings. They are usually one and the same. Last night I teared up over the series finale of Lost. Tomorrow night, I'll tear up at a graduation where I only know a couple of people, and only know them through my daughter. I promised her I would take her to graduation to see some of her friends march in and (hopefully!) receive their diplomas. Pomp and Circumstance always makes me emotional. This time, it will be because I am not that far away from seeing my daughter in her cap and gown, grasping her diploma. Unlike the good old days at BHS, I bet they'll even give out real diplomas at graduation. She doesn't realize it yet, but seeing her first high school graduation is going to be a moving experience. She'll see her friends leaving and going away, but she'll also begin to see herself in their place, moving on to the next phase of her life. I wish we all could see life through the eyes of a high school senior once again.

Welcome summer. Welcome next phase. Welcome whatever is waiting around the bend.